329 "No More Following Tracks"

I used to leave so many fading tracks behind me, in the hope that they would lead me back to that place I once knew, or that they would lead my past back to me. I had no idea that my footsteps were being covered and washed away completely. I just ignorantly walked into the unknown, believing in the illusion of safety that was believing my tracks were eternal.

Always walking forward, and always in the hope that I was leading myself somewhere better, but better is nothing more than a temporary moment in a brief dream, it is a desire meant to be had and lost and then found again, and never a final destination.

My history has been the longest passenger that I have ever known, and this history never had a set destination, only the desire to steal a ride for the rest of my life. This elusive vagabond always leaves pieces of itself at every stop, always picking up more to lose along the path we take.

I followed these tracks back so many times, but every time I would find myself lost in a place that no longer felt safe at all, a place where I could see where the water washed my history back into the eternal ocean.

Now I stand in the middle of a life I have never known, and I look around to see that I no longer leave tracks that lead me back anywhere at all.

Here I stand in the middle of only possibility, and for the first time, in the longest time, I have no desire to ever find the tracks that I once left behind.

For the first time, in the longest time, I want to make a home, instead of trying to follow all those tracks that only lead back to an empty house.