Day 319 "Making My Way Out"

I found myself in such a dark space once, not too long ago, and more than a few times.

This place where I could only ever feel so hidden away and unreachable.

I made a home in that cold alien land, making a bed of thorns and guilt.

I made a place for myself that no one ever wanted to see, but I would bring them in anyway.

Some tried to visit for a while, but I could not find the will or the words to make them want to stay.

I waited in that place for some clarity, for a moment that might bring me an understanding of how I had managed to stay here so long myself.

My answer came in the form of warmth, like the morning sun upon my face on a winter day.

I crawled out of my hiding place, scared but hopeful, and all the while this warmth embraced my doubting heart and faltering steps.

There were moments that my fears kept trying to drive me back into my empty cave, but no fear can ever outshine the warmth of hope and desire; so I kept crawling out of the dark, away from that dark temporary place I called Home.

I still remember the way those darker days felt, and there is a cold comfort still in that place, like an old friend you can no longer talk to.

A familiar comfort in knowing that everyone will eventually leave, but it will only ever be a hollow comfort without a sun.

Now, with every step away from those thorns that poison the mind with guilt, is a new understanding of just how temporary that place ever was for me…and that the ones I thought were abandoning me all this time, were simply showing me the way out.