Some moments in my life make complete sense, while
other moments have me standing on my head and playing the role of a misguided
clown, the royal jester...the boy forced to wear a dunce cap for all to point
at and mock.
I am not sure how I get through some of these days
to be honest. I just do.
I am not sure if I am addicted to my history, or if
I simply do not know how to properly say good-bye?
I just know that I think I used to know who I was,
and now I am so many people at so many different times.
Right now I feel so faceless and free from being
me.
There are moments in my life when I stop to look in
mirrors to remember what my face looks like, for fear that the monster I am
afraid that I am becoming is starting to change my look.
I want to understand where this darkness comes
from, and how this slight flicker of hope manages to hold off the dark so
completely?
I want to know how I can stop playing the fool.
I want to know how I can stop fearing change.
I want to know how I can stop standing on my own
head.
I want to know…
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