Day 88 "Lost And Found"

I panicked today. 

Today I woke up and Danbox was nowhere to be found.

Did he leave? Did he choose to go it alone? I truly hope not…

I searched everywhere that I could, in the small amount of time I had before work, and there he was, nowhere to be found.

I left to work and started retracing all the previous events that led up to this moment in my mind, trying to recall where I saw him last.

Did we have an argument somewhere within the haze of last night’s wine filled festivities that celebrated nothing?

This is a perfect example of just how distracted I have become with so many areas of my life, so much so that I have lost even the interest in the whereabouts of the ones that I care about...even my love is now so far from the map of my heart.

I am not even surprised at this lack of focus and this current disconnection from the world I used to know, the person I used to know, and the me I used to understand.

Sometimes your psyche raises its own defences to protect a mind that wants to wander too far to those empty and dark places, sometimes it does for just long enough to find what it is that you have lost; just long enough to regain some composure and calm.

Following this disappearance of Danbox the usual emotions came in to play, and the questions arose that perhaps I was one more step away from losing them all.

Was he hiding, was he lost...was he taking some time away from me?"

Perhaps I have been wearing my loneliness and apathy like a suit of armor for far too long? Maybe I have been too high strung and vocal about it?

I can't be certain why I would have no idea where he is? All I know is that no matter what reason for this distance, I can justify his potential reasons; I cannot escape myself, even though at times I try.

It is expected that you will misplace and lose the things that are important to you, and the question is whether or not you are meant to ever find them again? And Time The Thief alone knows the answer to this.

Some of us are lucky enough to find that important thing that we have lost and reclaim it in the most appreciative way possible, and for others, well; we simply lose something and it is not destined to be found ever again.

We keep looking, we keep digging, keep uncovering, and using hope to light the way and lead us back home.

Today I lost Danbox and today I found him once again

Tomorrow I may lose Danbox forever, like I have lost so many other things that made me who I am, and who I was.

What we have today is the only thing worth celebrating now, for sometimes tomorrow is too late.

Sometimes tomorrow simply never arrives.