Day 15 "The Ebb And Flow"

There is this sense of life becoming automatic for me. I think I know the future because it looks so much like my past.

Each day I wake up I don't expect anything new to happen, even though I hope that something will.

I ask the universe secretly if today is the day that the Fates will look favorably upon me and my human desires; if they will finally bring the desires of my heart back home?

There is no choosing the outcome, only a concerted attempt at staying the course.

I awake and rise out of my bed from will and responsibility alone...the machine requires me.

There are only twenty four hours in a day, and that never seems to be enough to fit in the daily grind, or the future dreams, the past regrets and the present fears. Then you try to bring forth and dig deep enough on the inside, for that stockpile of hope in your reserves, and that just pushes you way passed the point of exhaustion some days.

Still, as I watch Danbox make his way down the stairs to a titan-sized door so early in the morning, he seems unaffected by the energy vampire that has taken quite a liking to my psyche.

Opening the door, the little box man walked towards the doors threshold, there he stood, and turning back he faced me to make sure that I had his full attention; and he did.

It was cold outside and snowing slightly, but he stood there impervious to the freezing air that rushed in...he had my full attention.

He turned away from me and slowly outstretched his arms to the sky, embracing the world before him.

It was a beautiful sight, and at a loss for words to say, all I had was a tear down my cheek in response; for he reminded me once again of the importance of reverence for this life.

I have another day to live.

A second tear left racing faster down my cheek, but this one was for another reason completely; this tear was for the knowledge that I am a flawed human, with desires and fears and commitments.

I am such an imperfect human, with ambition, memories, and the ability to take everything for granted until it has to be seen from a distance too far for me to reach.

Because every emotion, every spiritual connection, and every second of reverence lives in constant ebb and flow, and it's seasons forever change; and nothing can be yours forever, not good or bad.

For now I have this beautiful moment, and I will try to slow the changing of the seasons all my life; but I will fail eventually, for it is our nature to fail at such irresponsible goals.

For now this moment is mine to share alongside Danbox, and even the momentary reverence for the gift of another day is sometimes enough to keep us pushing through the changing seasons.