Day 191 "Breaking The Habit"

Day 191---Breaking The Habit

There are so many addictions to acquire in this lifetime. A novel filled with bad habits that we will one day have to try to overcome and try to erase from the pages; but so many of these addictions will refuse to be defeated, and many of them will become who we are, to be read by friends and enemies alike.

Sometimes I think I may be addicted to my past, addicted to a history that blurs out and fades every moment of every day. Sometimes I actually believe that I can stall the momentum of Time The Thief.

I know in so many ways that I may be addicted to this desire for solitude. I watch as I push away the world to protect my own. I keep myself too busy to stop and think about the fact that I cannot keep this addiction if I am to ever be happy again.

I am addicted to these distractions, this technology, these things, and all because they help hide the sound of the choice I know I have to make, but I don’t really want to.

I have not yet faced my fears head on, and for this failure they have now taken up following my every footstep, stalking my every potential future.

I used to know what all my addictions were, I used to believe that they would just disappear after a while, that they would fade over time, and in many ways I never truly believed this to be true.

I used to believe that all my addictions needed to be fought, that I had to win against all of them, or else I would never be truly happy; I used to think that.

Not all addictions are bad.

Not all addictions are there to make your life harder.

Some addictions are beautiful.

Some addictions are both inspiring and necessary.

Some addictions are worth getting addicted to, even if you know they will one day be the end of you.

Some addictions are dangerous but amazing, fulfilling and scary, some addictions are who you are and all that you are.

Not all addictions happen by chance. Some are chosen and accepted, while others are strangers with a hidden agenda.

Not all addictions are worth forgiving, are worth the risk, or worth the expected payment.

Not all addictions are your choice to overcome, but all these addictions make you who you are, but the ones that you choose to keep are the ones that define who you are.