Day 210 "The Caretaker"

A bottle of wine always starts off as a great idea, but as it comes to its end, it opens a door within the minds eye, and anything about you can be seen if someone looks hard enough into that exposed doorway.

A bottle of wine is started with the thought that we know who we are, and by the last drop we start to see who we actually might be, and then we realize that the only way to hide your character is to change your character fundamentally; which means to kill your character.

I have looked deep within to see who I was hiding, and what I found was a familiar sight, what I found was still the dark passenger of both expectation and guilt for the mistakes I have made, and what I found was the danger of an idea that feared change.

One more drop of red wine upon my tongue and I can see a bit further inside, and it is in this moment where I can see the caretaker of my spirit, this part of me that protects me against myself, this part of me that smiles softly back at the part of me that fights so hard to hold a grudge like a cornerstone.

One more drop...

The caretaker walks over to help lift this stone that I would eventually throw upon myself.

One more drop still...

I let this thoughtful caretaker place both hands upon my burden.

One more drop too many and I try to wrestle this heavy cornerstone from the caretaker’s hand; but as always, I fail to resist the power of this hope and compassion.

One more drop of this red wine upon my tongue, one drop too many, and the caretaker places a hand over my mouth to stop me from speaking another lie.

I stay silent and let the rest blur into another memory, trying to hold on to the lesson I have learned, trying so very hard to make sure that next time I don't drink one drop too many.

The caretaker of my heart is only ever matched by the dark passenger that wills me to forever take one drop more.