Day 110 "Waking Dreams"

In a dream I look back to the ocean once again, back to the water’s edge and the beauty of nature and life, and back to these reoccurring dreams that I share with Danbox.

It wasn't long ago that I was standing with the little box man at the oceans edge, and already I am forgetting all the details…I wonder if is forgetting as well?

The sound stays with me, buried deep in my spirit and echoing within my heart, but the scent of the salty air is a bit dull now.

I remember only fragments of a shells patterns, even though I spent more than a few moments looking them over.

Everything in my past is becoming a dream.

I am losing my grip on the details in everything, and with no one to help remind me of what I once had, and what I once experienced, it all just becomes a series of dull images painfully sharp at times.

I have to go back to reignite my memories, but even then there is always something missing and something added...nothing can ever be the same again.

My present will inevitably become the dream that I long to reclaim, but it will never be mine to have this way ever again. These smiles and these tears will never again be this clear to my mind, and eventually it all fades within a dream.

I see this now, the way that we try to change, and how we never change.

In a moment of clarity I see the way we hold on to precious moments, as if they define us, as if they are all we are, and how we try so hard to control this universal chaos.

These visions of the ocean, these moments that I say define me, these fragments that blur as I replace them with today’s pieces...how even love becomes a dream.

There is only so far anyone can walk on their own, only so much that anyone can carry on their broken backs, and only so many steps that we can take when we are weighed down by these heavy hearts.

We live today in a dream of yesterday.

We define ourselves by moments that we cannot see clearly anymore.

Our lives are nothing but real dreams, dreams in a life that no longer feels like it ever could have happened the way that it did.

Am I dreaming now?