Day 231 "I Am I, I Am Here...I Am Nowhere At All"

In the past a part of me still stays behind to protect what I no longer have. In the future a stranger lie’s in wait, to eventually transform into who I am meant to be.

Rarely do I stop this progression through these days, just to be myself, in the now, and accepting for what I am. Ambition and loss have made a prisoner of this moment.

"I am here" I tell myself, and all the while I am speaking to myself from the past, and yelling from the future. I am nowhere at all right now.

I stare into the mirror and can only see the deepening lines of my own face. I wan to appreciate them for what they are, but I fear that ego still has a part to play in this story, and right now I cannot see my face as anything more than a stranger’s face.

All these lines that act as proof that I have endured more than one storm in this life, these many lines that remind me of all the times I laughed freely, but now I cannot remember which type of lines are etched upon my face, or where they had come from, and I can't remember which ones came from pain or pleasure anymore?

I am this reflection, and all these deep lines of every emotion.

I am all the worries and the laughter,

I am exactly this reflection that looks like a stranger now.

My mistake has never been that I asked who I am, but that I always asked myself who I was going to be?

I am this desire to experience all of these senses I have access to.

I am this hope that I hold deep and protected within me.

I am not this reflection,

I can’t just be this reflection,

I won't only be this reflection.