Day 242 " "Hope And An Open Door"

In a moment of loneliness, I ask not to be forgotten. I plead to not be thrown away, to somehow avoid obscurity.

I am sick to the core of my being that I could even doubt my worth after all these steps.

I don’t want to turn on myself and give power to the dark passenger…I just don’t want to be forgotten.

This temple I have built, these hollow things that I surround myself with to keep me company...these dreams that no one knows about.

I just don't want to be thrown away.

The change that I fought against is now the one thing I have to embrace, but I am scared of this next part.

I must learn to throw myself away with dignity.

In this lonely, reflective, and honest moment, I stare at the words that I type, and I hesitate in speaking the truth this way.

I hesitate, but I write them anyway, because I need to remind myself to be patient. I need to remind myself that there is beauty in throwing yourself away.

I remind myself that not everything needs to be remembered, not everything needs to stay the same, and there is nothing wrong with losing your place in the world of another.

I will learn to forget with purpose, and to throw away the weakness that doubt brings.

I will learn to change with dignity and focus.

I will learn to love obscurity in the heart of another.

I have only ever needed hope and an open door.