So much is the same, yet so much has changed, and it used to make me feel differently than I do now...and I can't say whether it is better or worse, perhaps both?
Time has a way of both slowing itself and speeding it up, uncovering new objects and then covering them in a dust impossible to clear away.
I don't remember ever seeing this part of this city in this time in the fall, it is so beautiful and new, and yet an air of melancholy chokes the streets today, and I can’t help but see the cracks in the pavement all too clearly.
I want to appreciate this chance to be alive, to appreciate this city and this life for the beautiful things that they are...but something is holding me back from showing my full appreciation, something is stopping me from smiling without my defenses raised?
The ghosts of my past frequently visit me when I am back in the places that I love. These impossible entities that cling to my psyche and remind me that Time The Thief is still working on changing all the things that I have ever loved, until they become stranger than they once were, until all these things fade into a memory covered in dust.
I am here, in this moment, alive, but not completely.
I appreciate this chance to smell the salty ocean air once again, and to walk these new streets with old ghosts.
I just can’t help but think that I may need to find some new places to tread after this, a new place where none of my ghosts have ever been, a place where these new ghosts that I have never known are waiting…along with Time The Thief.
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