I can still recall the way this world seemed so terribly alien and hostile.
I still remember the way the cold fear clawed at my heart every single step of the way, and how I had thought I would turn back so many times; but always you were there in the distance, somewhere, and that always showed me the best direction to travel.
Now I look around and I see no footprints in the snow, and for a moment that familiar fear starts to creep back in, and for one single moment I fear that hope has finally strayed too far for me to follow now.
I remember that you never promised that you would always stay in my sight, that you would always be seen somewhere in the impossible distance, but hope, even though I call you friend, you still left my side more than once.
At first I felt an anger that burned brighter than the ember you ever were.
The second time you strayed I accepted that you always would, but all the times that followed showed me something more than that anger and mistrust that started to meet you with; every time you returned it opened my eyes to a new perception.
I can see that you have always known that I was strong enough to read the difficult signs in my path, that you never doubted the lost footsteps I made.
While I cursed your absence and threatened to walk away in defiance, hope, my friend, you were only ever gathering the materials needed to keep you lit inside my heart…because I was forgetting to treat you in kind back.
From here I am not sure when I will meet with you again, but somehow I know that I will.
I have followed you until you decided that I needed to take the lead for a while, and from here, all I need to do is be patient that you will return, and focused on reading the next sign while you are not.
From here, I must take the lead, without anger in my heart, left with the longing for a friend that I miss so dearly every time that friend leaves; but I know you will be back, and you know that as well.
“Please don’t take too long this time around”
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