Day 168 "Both Sides"

Our thoughts are to be replayed over and again in an endless repetition, until a definite answer has been found, until one side thinks it has won.

We are habitually forced to analyze in our silence and stress until one side ultimately moves one step forward and finally breaks the stalemate, until one side thinks it has actually won.

Each side of our mind trying to both mimic and mock the desires of the other, trying to show the depths in which they each choose to swim.

Each side deserving to be heard.

Each side with compelling evidence to support their own cause.

Each side unable to take even one step in the direction if truce.

My thoughts are replaying over and over again, and all I can do is ruminate on these conflicted thoughts.

I lay here in wait.

I analyze and I attempt to listen to reason and logic.

I lay here in calmness, and I try to let go of old wounds.

I lay here in silence and I try to mute the emotional screaming,

I lay here in wait while I think on who it is that is trying to speak the loudest, who it is that deserves to win this moment?

Both sides are deceptively reasonable.

Both these angles of the same shape attempt to judge and forgive.

Both fail to completely protect and destroy.

Both have something to say...but only one will say it loud enough, and eventually I have to make a choice, eventually I must choose who I will be.