Day 136 "Make Or Waste?"

Sometimes you wait for something so long that when it arrives you find yourself so far away from the person who once started waiting in the first place, and this new person cannot understand why you would wait even this long.

I have fond memories of events, things and people as another man, and in another life it feels now.

I have memories of a time where I was less apprehensive, and more openly accepting of the many souls that I share this planet with.

I still remember some of those things.

Now so many great things are better in memory than in the present.

Now a thick layer of dust covers the shiny beauty of yesterday.

Now I find myself less optimistic about our history.

I worry that this may mean that the beautiful things that used to bring us such happiness have become dull and ugly now, and that perhaps the home I searched for in the past is no longer a home I care to know, or even care to remember.

Every day that passes threatens to fade the sharp detail of our histories, and so eventually we come to accept that right now just passed us by, and what just passed us by is now out of reach.

When we are weak and scared we look to the past for an idea of what we want to find in the future, and as we walk forward, it is always with our heads turned around and away from the dangers ahead.

As we walk along the emotional steps of our desires, and as we trip along the way, we come to understand that the past is not here to help us at all.

We come to realize that waiting for something to arrive without change is a fool’s errand.

I know that we better start looking ahead and limit looking back as much as possible. I know that we should try our best to hold on to great things and learn to let go before they start looking like the villain in the stories of our lives.

I now know that I should never have tried to hold the past to one face alone.

This is the moment that we say out loud to ourselves that we have changed, that we will not go back, and that we have learned at least something along the way.

This is our story that we write every day, our battle, and our victories.

This is our time to choose what we do with what we have learned, and our time to honor the past by letting go of looking back to see the dust collect.

These are the moments to try and leave something behind, something to prove that we in fact did live, or at the very least, that we tried.

There is not one breath taken as the same person, and not one part of your history that lays untouchable by the relentless and greedy hands of Time The Thief.

All we have are these moments, and these are the moments we make or waste.