Day 144 "The Path I Don't Know"

In these moments of reflection, as I walk along paths I never imagined I would walk, I stumble and trip over things in my path that I never thought I would ever come across.

As I walk swiftly along the paths I never meant to take for granted, I must remind myself to slow my pace down, to embrace patience, so that I may at least attempt to try to avoid tripping over more than I know should be…but patience in these chaotic times is a hard pill to swallow.

I struggle with ego and desires, with loss and the plan to steal back what was mine from the greedy hands of Time The Thief…an impossible task when nothing has ever belonged to me, not even this life I live, not even this body I borrow.

I don’t own me, and there is no stealing anything back.

There was no way of knowing that my journey would have led me here, wherever this is?

Every footstep and fall was on alien ground, while every lesson I have learned was taught by a teacher I have never met…and all the while I knew that this was the direction I had to take.

Somehow I knew that these steps were not only guided by myself alone.

Somehow this spark, this flickering ember inside, pushed me towards and away from that person and place I once knew.

Somehow I know this is how it was always supposed to be.

I used to curse myself for every misstep taken, as if I was supposed to be better than the mistakes I was making…now I know that I am all the mistakes I have ever made.

Now I know that I will always take everything for granted, I will always fall, I will always be one moment too slow to stop Time The Thief from his lecherous ways.

Now I know that these paths I walk will always be a combination of roads already travelled and the ones still unknown.

Now I know.

With a desperate heart whose will I cannot control I say “Patience”.

With eyes that stay locked on to the past I say “Look forward now”.

With a mind that seeks to overanalyze theses moments I say “There are no simple answers for me to complicate this time around”.

I know that this unknown journey is a gift, no matter what stressful gravity holds us down while the axe threatens to fall across our necks.

I know that not every step should be made in haste.

I know that not every step should be made to escape the past.

I know only what I think I know.