Day 139 "Before I Forget"

As time passes and I do what I do, I take everything for granted and stop looking at the details of the beauty in anything.

I don't mean to rush through the story, I don't mean to forget to be perfect in anyone's eyes, and I don't mean to hold on to moments that overshadow other moments.

I don't mean to, but I do.

I see Danbox playing among the scattered pine cones below a large fir tree, and he seems to find so much beauty in their geometry, so much so that he picks one up and brings it for me to look at; but I am not completely sold on this moment. He persistently pushes it towards me to acknowledge, and I know that he is forcing me to see beauty in the mundane, or at least try much harder to.

I try to connect with his excitement towards such a simple object, but I don't take the time to look at much around me in any great detail anymore, I just will myself through these days, and with not much thought on focusing on the details anymore.

I don't mean to, but I do.

I am not ignorant or blind to the importance of trying to connect with anyone that desires to show you more, but I am a flawed soul in a struggle with my ego, and I can sometimes forget that importance.

Sometimes there is an apprehension to open myself up something that I might eventually take for granted once again, and a fear that by acknowledging something beautiful that I might give Time The Thief yet another thing to eventually take away.

I don't mean to be scared, but I am.

After a few moments, Danbox drops the pine cone at my feet…defeated.

I don't mean to let the ones I care about down, but I do…but I don’t want to.

So I take the moment to pick up the pine cone and look it over, and I take a moment more to study its intricacies, and try to feel what Danbox is feeling.

Danbox seems to appreciate the effort, but I know that disappointment takes some time to overcome.

I may not mean to do everything that I do, or take for granted the things that I will, but I do mean to try the best that I can to connect with the world around me.

I do know that I try the best that I can to connect before I forget.