Day 145 "Infinite Palette"

Standing here, paralyzed and thoughtful, I wait in this realm of so many shifting colors, and I wait for a sign to show itself, any sign at all.

Is there a place in time and space where I do not suffer from the mistakes I have made? Is there anywhere at all where I am free of these questions without easy answers?

This fragile human mind is ever locked in a war of analyzing thoughts and potential decisions. Circling around the answer without ever having the strength to look at it directly.

I am quite aware now of the consequence of open doors.

I am aware of being aware.

I am ever excited to see how I will overcome any adversity that may come my way.

I perceive everything and anything in the many shades and colors presented to me.

The quiet of shadow is rare and usually found only in sleep, and loud color exists every moment outside of that realm.

As a child I was unaware of it all, I simply saw the potential in everything, and sleep was welcome for dreams; now we sleep no more with the lightness of being.

As an adult I have grown up aware of the shifting potential in everything, and as much as I know there must be an answer, I know that here is no definite answer; only that the time has finally arrived to force myself to step through…and I will step through, I have to step through.

I feel as though I paint my life with only a few colors on a palette that has infinite possibilities.

As if I have chosen to take on the hostile red of blood running without passion but anger alone.

As if I have decided to embrace the empty void of a hole dug in the ground as opposed to the darkness of a universe with so much potential.

I have chosen to paint nothing of an important design.

The adult now listens to a childlike echo from the past, and it cleaves through the will to hold on to these specific beliefs.

From here there is no denying the importance to reach out and embrace all the many shades of the world around me, to somehow try and see what these signs have always been trying to tell me.

From here I must force myself to open these colorblind eyes and simply step through.

From here, I must try harder to see more than these tainted visions.

From here, I must.