Day 148 "Learning The Meaning Of I"

Danbox learned a new skill today; he can now change the tire of a car.

Does not matter more that he learned this or that he chose to learn it?

For some of us we say that we have learned something, and yet our actions dictate otherwise. For these are the very people that keep placing their hands and hearts in the fire, knowing that they felt only pain every time before.

For some of us we say that we are ready to learn, and yet we hold on to the past like a cornerstone to a terrible temple, refusing to remove it from our histories, in fear that it will all come down upon us, and leave us with something to actually have to learn.

There is no fault in shutting down the will to learn as you repair and recover from the battles of the past, but there is only fault and failure in shutting down the ability and desire to learn from those many lessons.

We open ourselves up to take a chance that we may fail, that we may hurt more than we do right now, that we might break, and an even bigger chance that we might allow ourselves to feel alive once again.

I am learning to tear down the walls I built up to protect myself.

I am learning to exist in a space where not every answer is known or desired.

I am learning to relearn.

I am learning to accept the things that I thought I could not.

I am open to chance, to change, to desire, to connection, and to more than what I once refused to be open to.

The restrictions and limitations of doubt and fear no longer have a place here.

The close minded, self centered reaction to a broken ego no longer controls my will, and I am open once again to look ahead and not behind.

I am learning to accept the power in my powerlessness.

Always a student of chaos and gravity.

I am open to learn that I am not my fears or my life alone, and that I am not only my hope and love, or the reflection of the opinions from a world staring back at me.

I am learning the lesson that I can be a part of anyone that I choose to let in, that brick by brick I will take down these walls around my heart with my blind hope, and that I am relearning the importance of creating the meaning in my own life.

I am choosing to relearn the importance of choosing to learn anything at all.